These are my landmarks. Altars built by travelers before me. Skyscrapers fashioned for the sole purpose-”Do Not Forget” There is compassion and there is unmerited favour in abundance but the heart needs to be humble and the union needs to be real. If I can choose to be honest about my decisions and my actions then there is an ocean of hope. As simple as that. An Ocean of Hope awaits a man, not a good or faultless man but an honest one.
Shadow
A shadow cannot own anything, least of all itself. A shadow is cast by an object blocking the rays of the sun from the surface of the earth. A shadow can move, it’s life short, sunrise to sunset. A shadow has no wealth, a shadow has no pockets. A shadow has no colour to distinguish it from another shadow, all shadows are the same. All shadows are equal. There are no rich shadows, there are no poor shadows. Shadows can stretch, bend and split over floor and wall, beach and shore, pavement and building. King David, comes to the conclusion that he owns nothing and more interestingly that our lives are mere shadows. A blessing to God that brings humility to me and praise to Him. I own nothing. I have no pockets. I am a shadow in these shadowlands.
Asa’s address book
Asa was a good King. However when the next round of impending war came on the horizon there were more avenues to explore before the “miracle” option was needed. Asa flicked through his address book and contacted Aram, a neighboring King. Aram can provide reinforcements. The heart of the issue is not the war, it’s whom we turn to in every situation. Asa relied on a fruit tree. From the beginning of time to this day the same choice is there in all that is presented to me.
Everything is Spiritual
Nehemiah was a good man, he wasn’t a King and yet he ruled like the best of them, maybe even better? He gave up a career for a vocation. He illustrated that holy living was not separate to the financial choices we make but integral to them, especially in economically barren times. Nehemiah rebukes in Love and a nation responds. He demonstrates that everything can be holy, that everything must be holy, spiritual, set apart for God. Whether I am making a tent, building a wall or ministering, it is ALL holy.
Hezekiah’s Invite
Hezekiah, was a good King, he made some bad choices, however most of the time he made the right ones. Hezekiah decided to engage with Passover on an national level. He sent out invitations to all the tribes of Israel. The whole land, North and South was invited to celebrate the meal of thanksgiving and remembrance
Hezekiah went even further by imploring those who have not visited the temple for many years, maybe their ancestors had stopped coming and the impasse had become tradition, to come back. That His hot anger would not be reserved for those who return to Him. Those people will be treated with compassion, tenderly, with mercy.
I am reminded of Jesus who gave the parable of a King throwing a banquet and inviting everyone. There is a message in the obedience of Hezekiah and the narrative of this particular story. Hezekiah is bringing together that which had been fractioned for so long. However there is more than just a unity shared by faith. The invitation knits the physical with the spiritual, it is giving permission to those who have had control replace heart. Those who have had to choose between Kings and Land or Faith and God are told you can serve a King, in your land and have your faith in God restored.
It is as much a personal story as it is a tribal one. I read about Hezekiah’s invitation and feel I have been invited to share Passover with this King. Come, Come as you are. It doesn’t matter if your ancestors stopped coming to the temple, it doesn’t matter what happened before. This invitation is saying “let’s start again” Come on, come in, come.
Ezra empathy
Ezra prays into the state of the escaped nation and takes the actions of the Kings as something they are all responsible for. I am learning about a parallel journey. There is forgiveness for those who seek it, acknowledging that not choosing life was unwise. However in some ways the reconciliation of self to God is comprehensible, where there are consequences the journey is not so straight forward. Like the Kings, who hurt nations, I have hurt people. Ezra’s prayer was not one of blame or finger pointing. Ezra in prayer, actually lines up the nation shoulder to shoulder with the Kings choices. There is a deep magic at work in the hearts of those hurt and the unlocking of that pain has to rest with the understanding of atonement. Christ suffered in innocence from the actions of Kings and religious leaders.We suffer innocently from the actions of those close to us. Those close to me suffer innocently from my actions.
Spiritual justice has already taken place. Every day that moves forward is also tethered back in time. Spirituality is not linear. The Cross although 2000 years old, is also 2000 years into the future. Spiritual Justice has a framework. To break from spiritual justice and the cross, to highlight someone else’s wrong would mean our lives would have to be negotiated away from the Cross too.
Guard
Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Coal
As Isaiah’s vision grows he sees Him and becomes more aware of his own distortion. He becomes aware of his bag of crimes and like Mephibosheth, fears for his life. An angel flies out to him with a burning coal fresh from the altar and touches his lips with it. Like Mephi, Isaiah was restored to His image. Holy.
God’s coal burns distortion, it burns our crimes. God’s coal gives life. Reinstates. Restores. Redeems. Isaiah expected death and He received forgiveness, Mephibosheth expected execution he was blessed with restoration. The prodigal wanted to return as a servant and he was welcomed back as a son.
We are all distorted. I am distorted. God sees me as a treasure worth dying for. He sees this distorted gem stone as something worth holding. I expect judgment I receive grace.
God Patience
And my God, what does he say to me? Does He curse me because my thorns cut deeply into his hands? Does He desert me because I have had countless seasons failing to yield a single barrel of wine? Does He say, enough is enough; there is more thistle than there is fruit on this vine?
He says, I’m not angry, I care. I’ll pull out the thorns. I’ll keep a watchful eye, so no one can damage you. I will make sure you get watered properly. In fact, why don’t you just cling onto me for safety? Tie your life up with me; it will be good and whole. If you want, I’ll protect you. Isaiah 27: 1-5
Trust
My trust is a real commodity. It is the confidence I have in life. My trust holds my body-weight, my life-weight, my spirit-weight and my hope. Trust is an investment we all make. Where I deposit my trust determines me. Solomon used warhorses and chariots to defend Israel. The King was expending his wealth and resources in order to protect his wealth and resources. Trust deposited in the ephemeral will expire. A perishable trust delivers no comfort for the soul. Ten of the twelve spies chose logic, a world chooses knowledge, I have trusted in modern day warhorses; the monthly salary, protection of possessions and the continual noise the world makes whilst drowning out the sound of hope. If my God can’t do deliver on my trust or if I don’t fully trust Him to keep His promise, I should give up now. I should cut a deal like King Hezekiah did.
Warhorses waste my life, energy and direction. A perishable trust is expensive. Doves’ latest album and title track is called Kingdom of Rust. My God, it takes an ocean of trust In the Kingdom of Rust An eternal trust leads me to Eden, to being human, to Him. I am a merchant who one day noticed a precious pearl and decided to give up everything that he had in order to have that pearl in his life. I have it in my palm. I will not let go. I put all my trust in that pearl.
Bureau De Change
A million pounds when converted in heaven is worth nothing. Nothing. Money has a value only on earth, it is as ephemeral as our bodies.
Hidden
When reading about David and Jeremiah I see that there are certain books that afford a contextual setting for their lives and then there are other books, like Psalms and Lamentations that offer a spiritual view of the same events.
When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions. Hope, often hidden, exists all the time in the midst of sorrow, pain and grief. The books of Psalms and Lamentations gift me with an insight to a life that remains a mystery but everyday seems less nebulous.
Chemist
Last night my wife gifted me with this musing, does my contemporary christian faith provide a deep enough framework for my spirituality? I read the opening chapters from a book called Hosea this morning. A love story. Not a balanced one, a broken, twisted love story that responds to pain and heartache with unconditional love. Soul love, heart love, spiritual love. More than ever in my life am I convinced of His activity during my life past and present. More miraculous in the past, like the greatest chemist, working with elements that are unbalanced, twisted and distorted, still charting their course. Somehow allowing for the bias and in time watching this element run straighter and straighter.
In Hosea He says, I’ll take you out into the wild and start all over again. He unties my knots straightens my coils. This is the compression from distortion to diamond. This is life. The closer I journey toward Him the less important doctrinal politics seem to be. The deepness of my spirituality is captured in God, in Christ alone and not in a church service or meeting.
Snap
There are broken shepherd staffs in Zechariah. Too brittle for use. If it can be broken, then it can be put back together. If it can be snapped then it can be restored.
Sometimes being broken is the best thing that can happen to anyone as the opportunity to grow without distortion presents itself. Life tastes sweeter with no twists and kinks.
Warning Triangle
Something in me finds it difficult to read about Jesus rebuking a group of people and then assume this has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with me. I want to be authentic in pursuit of Him, and in the way I seek to model life. I do not want to be a hypocrite. The pharisees, started around the time of Ezra, the building of the second temple, and their values were good, even noble. That in itself should be a red warning light for me. Check myself, who I am, what I am professing, daily. Actions, that unify thoughts, words and heart. I want it to be so, and if it is not, I need my friends to say so.
Climbing Frame
I believe in a God who speaks to Muslim and Christian, Skinhead and Sikh, Atheist and Baha’i. Priest and Prostitute. I believe in a God who speaks to the heart that wants to change regardless of religious or non religious affiliation. I believe in equality. I do not believe in hypocrisy, I aspire to transparency. I believe in new and fresh expressions. I believe in a journey from distortion to gem stone.
Service
I do not just want to serve those whom I have much in common with. A preparation of the heart. A fondness for all humanity, beyond the comparable. My world only grows when I care for my friends and for those who are overlooked as friends, those who are ignored. To serve humanity with love there must be a love for humanity, without that it is simply reduced to an act.
To serve and in doing so, serve Him. I was ignored and you noticed me. I was overlooked and you engaged with me. I was hurting and you spoke hope to me. I was helpless and you helped me. I had whipped the back of society but you befriended me, you were real to me.
I look out onto a Sussex field and see some sheep and some goats grazing. Same field but separate. Choice does that.
Mustard Hope
The Magi knew where to find Him. The outcasts knew where to seek Him. The broken hearted knew where to listen to Him. The sick knew where to be healed by Him. The guards knew where to seize Him. The women knew where not to look and even Judas knew where to betray Him.
In hiding after betrayal and denial. The ones who saw more miracles and heard more stories than anyone else, didn’t believe He was anywhere to be found. Hope comes to those seeking it. The Magi with no hope would never have left to see the child. Matthew’s house would have been a lot quieter if the outcasts didn’t believe they would be spiritually and socially touched. The crowds gathered to hear Him because they had faith. Belief. Hope.
A hopeless situation is one where hope is rejected from the outset. With no hope, it is impossible to find Him. A molecule of hope is all that is needed to begin the journey from distortion to gem stone, it is all that is needed to find a precious pearl, to find a lost coin, to avoid the empty tomb and seek Him amongst the living, not in a cemetery.
Who’s there?
A knock at the door. A comedic scene. Rhoda recognises the voice, so excited she runs back into the house telling everyone that Peter is at the door. Really? They say. Yes, she says. We don’t believe you, they say. It’s true, she says. Meanwhile Peter is still knocking on the door. What was going to be a spectacular entrance was becoming a scene from a BBC comedy. Peter has just walked past his jailers like some jedi mind trick. He was visited by an angel in his cell, his chains fell off instantly in a splash of light, the secure door was opened, that which man closes God can open. The angel advised Peter to wrap himself up in a cloak and led Him out of the prison and onto the streets, only then disappearing, leaving a dazed and confused Peter. The tragedy of this story comes with Peter’s circumstance, in captivity. The fairy tale comes after the tragedy and in the guise of the escape. The comedy, however, comes last as Peter stands outside a door where his voice has been recognised and a debate ensues inside as to whether it is really him or not. Peter is still standing. Peter is still knocking. Finally when the door is opened, Peter has a conversation on the doorstep and leaves.
This is almost the last we hear of Peter. An escape with an angel and an unanswered knock. The extraordinary and the everyday.
Tipping Point
I pray for a renascence on my street. 99% of whom I don’t know. I pray from this morning for hope to fall like snow into their lives, like the overspill of sound as Andrew Dufresne played Mozart’s marriage of figaro over the grey prison scape of Shawshank. For a moment all the prisoners saw themselves as humans and not as criminals. We are all humans at our core, distorted yes but being aware of our distortion is the first step in the journey back to becoming fully human again.
Energy
It all comes through to me, positive and negative, I have no control over my greater circumstance. However how I react with the power that life affords me is a completely different supposition. I could choose to compound the rejection of parents and friends by rejecting others. I could choose to burn when I have been burnt. I could choose hurt when I have been hurt.
Warm
What I want, is free, and all from You. What You give is free and all for me. I feel cold and am always looking for Your fire to gather round. Warm me. The heat of passionate patience to warm my face. Reverent wonder. Build me on this journey.
