Videotape August 2, 2009

I believe in a God who speaks to Muslim and Christian, Skinhead and Sikh, Atheist and Baha’i. Priest and Prostitute. I believe in a God who speaks to the heart that wants to change regardless of religious or non religious affiliation. I believe in a journey and not conformity. I do not believe in hypocrisy, I aspire to transparency. I believe in new and fresh expressions. I believe in compression from distortion to gem stone.

Live Free

• They call me Mr Glass
• Distortion
• Seat Belts

Ask Questions

• Receive few answers,
• Ask more questions
• XXL Faith

Hope

• From distortion to gem stone
• Zephaniah’s New Language {Pollen Honesty}
• Haggai’s New Temple {Spiritual Architecture}
• Zechariah’s Bridge {The pursuit of Him in community}
• Matthew’s Bistro {Inclusiveness not an exclusivity}

Live Free

A memory of an M.Night film with Samuel. L. Jackson pleading, ‘they call me mr glass.’ In so many ways I feel we all are born in a brittle, fragile, breakable state. Born into a distorted world, with our hearts glasslike. There are broken shepherd staffs in Zechariah, too brittle for use. If it can be broken, then it can be put back together. If it can be snapped then it can be restored. Often being broken is the start of a true restoration one that develops into a stronger, less fragile, less brittle heart.

Being born into this world brings upon me an unavoidable bag of crimes.

Compromise. Distortion, everything that happens outside of my control. Decisions taken on my behalf with my petrol money, my supermarket money. My birthmark is death, instantly limiting my time on this planet. This is why the virgin birth is so important to me. Someone being born outside of the rules, means miraculously that person escapes the weight of the world. The bag of crimes that compromise and entangle our lives. The virgin birth fulfils a promise. It has a past. The virgin birth means the world has someone living in it who is outside of the worlds distortion. This is important to me.

I want what is real, right now. I don’t want to be sold a hope that comes into effect only when I die. I want to live a full life, one that applies to here, right now.

When that which I fear is unmasked to reveal itself, then it can no longer be a source of fear for me. That is my life. Identities revealed. Hope realised, here today, and maybe for longer. I believe so anyway.

A complete trust eradicates fear. The boundaries are important but only as part of a holistic relationship. On their own, they are just rules, with a relationship they become seat belts. In place to offer security and safety.

He says come, if you’re tired, if you’re worn out, come if you are burnt out by following rule book. Come. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Learn to live freely and lightly. Come. Breathe. Life.

Who do I profess to be? Something that I am or something that I am not?

I am a shadow, brought into life by the sun and one day diminished by it too.

I own nothing and I owe nothing. This is Freedom.

Ask Questions

There are an ocean of questions that my heart often delivers to my mouth, in the full knowledge that reconciliation is unlikely.

My faith is not a bulletproof marketing campaign that was designed to withstand a political slanging match. The bible was never written to prove or disprove carbon dating, the theory of relativity or a scientific journal of humanity.

I can understand free will and the consequences that arrive with making choices, however I am still broken when I see poverty. My heart is crushed when I contemplate the state of this world. I want Him to engage with the little girl in the red coat. Save her. Save them. Where were You then? Where were you when the clowns took control?

I must be able to question aspects without the whole structure crumbling.

Do not tow the party line. Do not speak what is expected of you. My faith is XXL, it can accommodate a distorted man, and it can withstand my questioning. Speak from the heart. Always. Job did, The Psalms did, and Habakkuk did.

Hope and the journey from Distorion to Gem Stone

There is hope amongst the tables being turned. There is hope within the final words. There is hope in the dying minutes. There is hope in hopelessness. Because of this, I can live. Because of this I know I now move from distortion to diamond, from grit to precious pearl.

A gem stone language like Zephaniah writes of; an undistorted one. I am learning the vowels of an untwisted vocabulary that can only be formed from an untwisted mouth. In compression from distortion to diamond. From nebulous to perspicuous.

My life in compression. Forced into this world and praying into another.

When Haggai urges the people of Israel to build a temple, a new temple, it is not a call to build another structure that will decay. It is a model of living. A way of living holistically, beautifully. A way of living life with freedom. To build my temple. Architects for a different world. When Haggai writes of a temple for ALL to worship in, there is more than a building. When he writes of building work it is as much conditions of the heart as it is stone masonry. When he writes of construction it is as much faith and Selah as it is straw and mud.

To build for the world that lasts, an investment in eternity.

Zechariah leads me to a bridge. Contextually around 520 BC, the Persians have defeated the Babylonians, and Cyrus II and later Darius decide that Israelites should return to their land and in fact the Persians would pay for the rebuilding of the temple.

In Zechariah chapter two there is a passage that says He is coming to live in our midst. It follows, and many nations will join the lord and become my people, I will live among you.

What if more attractive and significant than any speakers corner session is to live among a community and model hope. What Israel saw as a dark time, living in exile in Babylon, could have been an era when a people of hope lived that life amongst the rest of the world.

Cyrus, Darius, Alexander, Ptolemy Philadelphus, Augustus, and Tiberius ALL paid respect to the temple by sending offerings. Persian Empire, Greek Empire and Roman Empire moved by the hope and consistency of a people and their relationship with God.

When Zechariah writes of many nations, I can see the uncomplicated way. Be different. Be radical. Be true. Choose Life. Life attracts life. Hope begets a community of belief.

He did not seek the outsiders. They came to Him. He wasn’t just hanging out with the marginalised they saw hope in Him. They saw in hope beyond power and vanity, beyond masks and society’s approval. They saw in Him something magical and unique. This was never a PR campaign, hanging with the excluded groups, it was the excluded being drawn to life.

There is an inclusiveness in Him that is beyond this day, this life, my street, my social groups. An inclusiveness into His country. Not an exclusive country golf club, no women allowed, but an inclusive feast where ALL are most welcome.

The dazzling hope at breakfast, the endless possibilities of the day ahead. This is my compression. This is my life, my crucible.

Hope in the power that silences a raging storm and straightens a twisted mans heart.

I still have an ocean of questions and yet I still have a peace that His hope sustains me. Quiets my soul, revives my heart. Provides me with the framework of being human again in an inhuman world.

More than rules. More than promises. More than good deeds. In my life, to be fully alive is to pursue Him every day, choose life and experience a coronation in my heart.

exclusions and the small print July 24, 2009

A year ago today my wife and I watched a film called Perspolis. It was a fantastic study of exile and balanced integration in society. Excluded or minority factions seeking to, as best they can, fit into life, community, people groups. There is a difference between someone living an inclusive life, making others feel equal and between the excluded, the marginalised feeling included by someone.

One is an offer, the other is life changing.

Wigs, worn from an early age for reasons of power and vanity. Regardless of time, power and vanity are the major contributing factors to how we feel we are perceived. Sometimes unconscious of who we are in an attempt to become someone that is more accepted, more powerful.

When reading a book called Matthew in the new testament I am struck by the attraction of a particular passage. In chapter nine the author writes that The Christ, called out to a tax collector saying follow Me which he did. Later that day whilst sharing a meal at Matthew’s house with The Christ, many of the excluded joined them.

He did not seek the outsiders. They came to Him. He wasn’t just hanging out with the marginalised they saw in Him hope, beyond that which the world could offer. They saw in hope beyond power and vanity, beyond wigs and society’s approval. They saw in Him something magical and unique. This was never a PR campaign, hanging with the excluded groups, it was the excluded being drawn to life.

There is an inclusiveness in Him that is beyond this day, this life, my street, my social groups. An inclusiveness into His country. Not an exclusive country golf club, no women allowed, but an inclusive feast where ALL are most welcome. Come, listen, eat, drink, rest, hope, believe.

trainspotting July 21, 2009

Saint Irenaeus said the glory of God is man fully alive.

The latency between morning state and being awake is my life. I have no interest in rules, I have no interest in exclusive faiths, I have no interest in religion. In a book called Malachi, the writer urges those who profess to live a life of hope in Him, to maintain a consistency throughout their whole life. Not just a linear consistency but a holistic one that covers every facet. I want to live exactly the same life with or without the scaffolding of structure given by work, friends and family routine. Only when I am alone can I know this. Do I still choose life?  I want to explore being alone as I am sure that within the separation comes the identity. Am I truly this man, or is there something more, something less? I want to be fully alive. I want a consistency in my life, that follows Him and yet allows me to be me. Unique. I seek that arena. A space to find a hand shake from divinity to humanity. My faith is that space. A place to explore safely and to engage securely with Him.

A memory of an M.Night film with Samuel. L. Jackson pleading, ‘they call me mr glass.’ In so many ways I feel we all are born in a brittle, fragile, breakable state. Born into a distorted world, with our hearts glasslike. There are broken shepherd staffs in Zechariah, too brittle for use. If it can be broken, then it can be put back together. If it can be snapped then it can be restored. Often being broken is the start of a true restoration one that develops into a stronger, less fragile, less brittle heart.

As well as a brittle heart, being born into this world brings upon me an unavoidable bag of crimes. My birthmark is death, instantly limiting my time on this planet. This is why the virgin birth is so important to me. Someone being born outside of the rules, means miraculously that person escapes the weight of the world. The bag of crimes that compromise and entangle our lives. The virgin birth fulfils a promise. It has a past. The virgin birth means the world has someone living in it who is outside of the worlds distortion. This is important to me.

In this book called Malachi, God reminds me that He loves me, He reminds me that He was present in my history and is in my future. He reminds me that He loves me. He loves me. God loves me. Me.

promise July 20, 2009

A fulfillment of stories. Statements written hundreds of years before coming to a place of fruition. My life, a series of promises, being born, being fulfilled. My choice to embrace life and the promises or  create my future. The tricky thing is that a future needs a past. One cannot live a balanced life without the other. The past has all the ingredients, some bitter, some harmful but all true. Without the past, a future becomes tasteless, synthetic, manufactured. Ultimately a future without a past is hollow, empty, FAKE.

To embrace my future, I need to embrace my past. Similarly to embrace the story of The Christ, one is advised to embrace the old testament. The old testament, as I have read from the beginning of the year, has strong markers; A love from divinity to humanity, a consistency, a promise. This hope will only cement the love and consistency shown throughout the many hundred years of the stories.

The world I live in is distorted and comprimises me on a daily basis. I have read old testament stories of this, and equally I know this to be true in my life today. I am compromised from owning a car, mortgaging a house, buying energy, shopping at a supermarket, trading in commerce, I could go on.

Born into this world brings upon me the first of my bag of crimes. This is unavoidable. Entry into this world if by birth and the moment that happens, the birthmark of death limits my time on this planet. This is why the virgin birth is so important to me. Someone being born outside of the rules, means miraculously that person escapes the weight of the world. The bag of crimes that compromise and entangle our lives. The virgin birth fulfils a promise. It has a past. The virgin birth means the world has someone living in it who is outside of the worlds distortion. This is important to me.

whale bone July 8, 2009

Zephaniah is a prophet who writes of great anger and judgement. I read this book today and could feel condemnation. I could be made to feel ashamed, however I do not believe that was the spirit in which this book was written in. The Old Testament stories are hung together on a much broader picture; that God has chosen a people to act as an expression of His love, His way of living. To view Israel would be to view what it means to have a relationship with God. For the God of the bible, Israel’s manifestation of Him was far too erratic. Good kings and bad kings, major and minor prophets, none of them could create the balance and harmony to represent Him. Israel was chosen to be the example to the world and it was failing miserably. Zephaniah is a book centred at those calling themselves one thing, but acting like another. This message is not for all. Hypocrisy births this response. One of judgement and anger. I must be that which I profess to be. For too long I was not. What Israel were incapable of doing with consistency, The Christ can offer eternally;  Substitutionary atonement. A life of consistency, balance, peace and hope.

many July 7, 2009

I believe that He is for all. I believe that He is closer to all than the religious would care to think. I believe that hope is a bigger word than most can comprehend, I believe that the pious will be surprised when hearts are revealed on that day.

I believe He speaks to all, I believe in a revolution of the heart. I believe in a God who speaks to Muslim and Hindu, Christian and Sikh. I believe in a God who speaks to the heart that wants to change regardless of religious affiliation. I believe in a journey and not conformity. I believe in new and fresh expressions. I believe in compression from distortion to diamond, from carbon to gem stone, from grit to precious pearl. I believe in The Christ.

trans port June 22, 2009

It’s about how I see the world. My view has changed, I have a position. Tether. Rotate. Breathe. Live.

Saturday Harbour Lights Don Paulo Aunty Emm A New Hope September 20, 2008

There are paper bags full of emptiness para-gliding down my street. Evaporating vacant content underneath taxi wheel arches. They distribute their print. Was this their makers doing? To feel the weight of purchase once expanding their seams, to have their bellies emptied out prior commission to swimming kerbs. They are more offices to let than derelict buildings. Unemployed Trojans on death row, drinking rain and para-gliding down my street.

 

Tuesday Mask Make Magic September 9, 2008

Don Paulo words that ache and meet my soul like long lost friends. More than friends, words that meet each other and realise that they were always part of a sentence that had never been written yet. Economic connections deprived the union until now. Freedom. Liberty. Truth. Hope.

Saturday French Breakfast Ping Pong Bread Strawberry Ice August 30, 2008

Kinetic connectivity. Somehow it isn’t as simple as that. It’s too intricate. I want to lay in the bath and examine it all. Every thread that pulls, to pull it. Every snag that rips, to rip it. To view it all in every dimension and orthographic view available. I will study and change, move on. Connection. Where we meet.

From the umbilical cord to the shallowest of friendships, examine the fabric of them all. A lifes work maybe? Today it will have the duration of my bath and my full focus. Smith’s made the morning feel time-less. Thank you. Web-Star, I expect great things from you my young jedi. Use your powers wisely.

now to focus.